My Sidekick

I'm not going to sugar coat it - sometimes we are not on the same page (mostly during nap time) but it's nice having a sidekick.

 

 

 

YOLO

Token phrases I kick around daily:

• You only live once. (When interacting with myself)
• Don't sweat the small stuff. (When interacting with Danny)
• The French pause. (When interacting with Declan)

Happy Birthday America

On the 4th of July I was very sick and Declan hurt his right arm so he refused to use it. Despite all the chaos I dragged us to the neighborhood fireworks and I'm so glad we went. Declan was completely fascinated. It made me excited to watch him discover more and more and see his face light up just as it did on his first 4th of July.

Heartache

When we left New York I told Danny that it would take me a while before I could watch movies set in NY without crying. Truth is there are a lot of movies set in that magical city. (one may ask why - is it that incredible? and the answer is yes.)

We've been taking advantage of the media room and therefore have on occasion watched a movie set in NY. I thought it would bother me more but I haven't shed a tear yet as a result of watching a movie.

The other night however we were watching something and it made my heart yearn to be there again. I ached for the grimy subway stations where dirt is caked around the bolts in the scaffolding and they have painted over and over the dirt. I hurt for the sticky smoke that billows out of the orange and white tubes for what purpose is still a mystery to me. I wanted to be walking down the sidewalk so that someone hurrying off to work/school/home could brush up against me. 

Most days there is at least a moment where I wish I was home. On the really bad days there is a deep emptiness that seems like it will never be filled.

This Blog's Purpose

99% of the time if I'm having trouble sleeping it is because I have too many thoughts circling in my head. Therefore the fool proof solution to fall asleep quickly is to record these thoughts so that I can revisit them during waking hours. 

This blog was supposed to serve a similar purpose only it was a forum to write thoughts that I was dwelling on during daylight. These thoughts were comprised of moments of sadness and anxiety but also happy moments. Moments of joy that I kept replaying in my mind because I did not want to forget a feeling or an experience. Originally I gravitated to the idea of sending these thoughts into the void - hopeful that they were read by others but not focused on the goal of increased readership. 

Then this blog became a perfect window into our family when Declan was born. It was a way to share our newest love with the ones we loved. 

Eventually what started out as something relaxing, fun, even a little therapeutic turn into its own source of frustration. There was too much feedback and it was no longer something I did for me and therefore I stopped doing it altogether. But I miss writing. I want to document this time in my life and more than ever I need a forum where I can express myself. 

Therefore I have decided to continue to write but to leave posts unpublished. I may publish these in the future but for now I have refocused this blog to again be for me.

 

Happy Anniversary Love!

Danny and I celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary this past week by taking little D to the Houston Zoo.


We had just arrived - nice and fresh before the heat and sweat began to break us down. Check out Declan's sweet kicks.

This hat just kills me!

And lastly, I threw in this photo because there are tons of pictures on Danny's phone where he captures moments between Declan and me. I'm so thankful that he photographs these so that I can look back and remember snapshots of time with our baby boy. 

Documenting Every Bite

I have a calendar for Declan where I write in special moments/milestones during his first year. Tonight I was going through photos to remember and mark down some of these special events. To the outsider it would appear that all we've done in the past month is feed Declan an absurd amount of food and document every bite but we've actually done more than just that. 

I just can't get enough of our baby.